guys.. there’s something i’d like to write here today, regarding my last chat with iwan, leo & evan. kemaren sempet ngobrol ttg fct lg & pikiran kedepannya. trus pembicaraan sempet memanas & gw sempet emosi.. n truthfully, skrg pun, (pagi berikutnya) gw masih emosi. so i’m going to say it here. gw kepikiran mo ngirim surat ke org2 yg chatting bareng gw kemaren, tp gw pikir ini jg ada hubungannya sama semua org, so let me bristle and fume here..
to cut it short, kemaren seperti biasa kita ngobrolin lg gmn jadinya kalo kali ini pun ga lulus & di extend 2 bln. sebenernya seh percakapannya seperti biasa aja, tp berhubung gw emang lagi emosi.. dalam percakapan itu (ditambah omongan2 sebelomnya), ada bbrp perkataan yang really offended me.
first of all, i want to make this clear. buat yg uda mikir2 mo cabut, ga ada salahnya kalian mikir gitu, n gw jg ga bener2 against it. kalo emang tekadnya uda gt ya udah. gw jg ga mo komentar apa2. yg uda bertekad pasti pegi ke jepang juga, all i can say, gw salut, stay strong. n buat yang bener2 masih bingung, itu juga maklum, sebisa mungkin gw jawab inquiries kalian mengenai jepang n fct, n hopefully it can help with your decision making.
(mulai dari sini kasar, maaf. please note that i’m emotinal right now and that i’m not directing this to everyone, nor anyone in particular)
tp buat yg cuman mo state to the world bahwa kalian bingung, it’s a hard choice, fct warui, diluar bnyk chance, etc etc.. those who yack away and refuse to really think.. to listen to what others have to say and instead cari alesan ini itu about how someone else’s case is different, that his case is oh so special.. sori, gw cuman bisa bilang gw ngerasa itu cuman sekedar cari sensasi.
kalian giat belajar gw tau. you guys had given your best, gw jg ngerti. kalian pusing, stress, takut, gw ngerti semua. so JANGAN PERNAH BILANG GW BEDA & GW GA NGERTI KARENA GW JALAN DULUAN. what the hell does that mean?! gw ga pernah training bareng kalian? gw ga pernah stress gara2 test/kaiwa? gw ga pernah dilanda kebingungan seperti kalian? you guys complained, saying that you’re wasting time when you could have gotten a good job. waktu masuk get program uda dipikir mateng2 blom? you should at least knew that there’s certain risks involved in joining. kalian ga kenal fct sebelom msk get program kan? trus emangnya kalian dengan gampangnya percaya company ga dikenal, masuk gt aja trus expect everything to go smoothly? naive.. kalian uda tau trainingnya 1 taon & batch 1 aja ada yg di extend, what makes you think batch 2 ga bakal di extend? let’s say you don’t know all these before.. you’ve made a mistake by joining, so quit. get over it. done. jangan iiwake, bilang hal ini ga se-simple itu.. what’s so not simple about it? you want it you get it, don’t want it, let go. waktu yg uda kebuang? forget it, emang bisa balik? kalo emang it’s a waste of time, don’t continue wasting it. if you think it’s worth fighting, fight till you get it, ga peduli hasilnya gmn & selama apa, kalo itu emang uda tekad loe. it’s THAT SIMPLE. forget the details. banyak yg bandingin antara a new potential job sama continuing with the training. it’s normal to be confused, but seek advice, LISTEN, do some self-reflect, make your decision. skrg blom dapet kerjaannya aja uda berkoar sana sini.. ga mikirin yg sebelom msk training uda pada kerja? mrk uda gutaitekini punya sesuatu yg dipegang lho. it might not exactly be a dreamjob, but it brings in money. know the difference of losing something you already have and losing something you might/might not get? get a clue. it’s a tough choice, but in the end, it’s YOURS. stop with the dilly-dallying. cut the crap. you want to complain, go ahead. after that, stick with your decision. don’t DWELL for pete’s sake.
satu lagi.. AMAI SEIKATSU. … … … … … cb kesinid, yatte goran. kalo orang ga complain emang artinya everything is fine? japan is no dreamland, get that stupid idea out of your brain. kalo kita ga pernah bener2 complain ttg hal2 yg berat bukan berarti disini fine2 aja. kalo kita cuman ngomongin hal2 yg bagus ttg jepang, itu juga diomongin dengan harapan bisa menjadi insentif utk kalian yg mau ke jepang. try spending your first day here in a foreign land alone, knowing that the only ppl you know are 3 hours away from you and you have no way of getting there nor contacting them. i had to walk for about an hour, and with my half-baked japanese, muster my courage to enter 3 convenience stores to finally be able to buy a frigging int’l phone card. try calling your home when you’re that lonely and hold back your tears while you hear their voice. and try calling your friends to find that the line just wouldn’t connect. try eating dinner alone on your first day in japan. try spending the entire month envying your 2 friends who live in the same apartment, with seniors around to guide them, they get to do everything together, solve everything together, while you had to depend on yourself. no big deal for you? it’s a big deal for me. ever heard me complaining excessively over it?
i know what it meant to be living and working in a foreign land. it doesn’t make it any easier, but i acknowledge it and i deal with it. stop with the superior one-sided thinking, don’t look down on me and don’t assume you understood everything. japan’s no better than indonesia. you wanna hear me complain? i’ve got frigging lots of’em.
that’s it. flame me all you want, get angry at me. just DON’T try to joke your way around this, i’d rather you not reply.
buat yg ga berhubungan sm post ini, i’m sorry i yelled at you. i just had to get this all out. a month’s worth of pent up stress maybe. but for all it’s worth, i would’nt be this worked up if i didn’t care. with all that said, i’m still hoping you guys’ll be here.